Steal from Psychopaths: How to Get Information Without Asking a Single Question

Madusha Ranaweera
2 days ago
5 min read

Have you ever told someone more than you meant to?

You probably have. And it might not have been an accident.

They might have been (knowingly or unknowingly) using a technique the CIA (and a few business psychopaths I've met) love to use.

This method is called Elicitation.

Its beauty is in its simplicity. Instead of asking a question, you drop a statement that begs to be corrected.

How Elicitation Works in Real Life

Visualize this.

You're at a networking event. You want to know how much an acquaintance at a rival company is making, but you're uncomfortable outright asking.

Instead, you say:

"By the way, I read that people in your role at this company make over $200K a year. That's amazing!"

And without thinking, they WILL correct you.

"No, it's closer to $120K."

And voilà. You've just gotten the truth, without a single question being asked.

Why does it work? Because people can't resist correcting false information. Especially when it feels unfair or inaccurate.

It's like an itch we have to scratch. When someone gets something wrong about us, our situation, or our world, we feel compelled to set the record straight. It's automatic. It's instinctive. And it's incredibly exploitable.

The Psychology Behind the Compulsion

Here's what's happening in your brain when someone drops false information about you or your circumstances.

First, there's a sense of injustice. Someone has misrepresented reality, and that feels wrong. Your brain wants to restore accuracy.

Second, there's ego involvement. When the false statement makes things sound better than they are (like inflating your salary), correcting it feels like honesty and humility. You get to be the person who "keeps it real."

Third, there's social bonding. Sharing the truth feels like trust. It feels like you're letting someone in, being vulnerable, building connection. Except you're actually just being manipulated.

The technique is so effective because it bypasses all your normal defenses. You're not being interrogated. You're not being put on the spot. You're just correcting an innocent mistake. Except it's not a mistake. It's a trap.

Where You've Seen This Before

I've seen salespeople use it. Recruiters use it. Negotiators. Even toxic managers.

The recruiter who says, "I heard this role typically pays around 80K," when they know it pays 95K. They're fishing to see if you'll accept less.

The salesperson who says, "I assume your budget for this is pretty tight right now," inviting you to either confirm (which gives them leverage) or correct (which reveals your actual budget).

The manager who says, "I'm sure you're planning to stay in this role for at least another two years," prompting you to reveal your actual career timeline.

The colleague who casually mentions, "I heard the project got delayed because of the client," when they really want to know if it was actually your team's fault.

It's everywhere once you start looking for it. And the scary part? Most people using it don't even realize they're doing it. It's become second nature in professional settings.

The Dark Side and the Bright Side

Like labeling, elicitation is a neutral tool. It can be used for good or for manipulation.

On the dark side, it's a way to extract information people wouldn't normally share. It's deceptive. It exploits our natural instinct to correct misinformation. And in the wrong hands, it can be used to gather intelligence, negotiate unfairly, or manipulate decisions.

But on the bright side? It can also be a way to help people open up when they're being too guarded.

Maybe you're a manager trying to understand why an employee is struggling. Instead of asking directly (which might make them defensive), you say, "It seems like this project has been pretty straightforward for you." They'll correct you if that's not true, and suddenly you're having a real conversation about their challenges.

Maybe you're in a negotiation where both sides are stuck. You say, "It sounds like flexibility on delivery timeline isn't an option for you." If that's not their main concern, they'll correct you and reveal what actually matters to them.

Maybe you're trying to help a friend who's clearly upset but won't talk about it. "You seem totally fine about what happened," might be exactly what they need to hear to finally admit they're not fine at all.

Context and intention matter. Are you using this to exploit someone, or to facilitate honest communication?

How to Use Elicitation Ethically

If you're going to use this technique (and it's worth having in your toolkit), here's how to do it without being manipulative:

Use it when direct questions aren't working. Sometimes people are defensive, guarded, or just uncomfortable with direct questions. A well-placed statement can open the door to honest conversation in a way that feels safer for them.

Don't use it to extract information people have a right to withhold. If someone is intentionally keeping something private (like their salary, their personal life, or proprietary information), respect that. Don't trick them into revealing it.

Be transparent when it matters. If you're in a position of power or trust (like a manager or mentor), consider being upfront about why you want the information instead of using elicitation. Building trust often matters more than getting the intel.

Watch for it being used on you. This is the critical defensive skill. When someone makes a statement that feels slightly off, pause before you correct them. Ask yourself: why are they saying this? What do they actually want to know? And do I want to share that information?

How to Defend Yourself

Here's the truth: you're going to encounter this technique constantly, whether people are using it intentionally or not.

The best defense is awareness. When someone makes a statement that invites correction, especially about sensitive topics like money, timelines, decisions, or personal matters, take a breath.

You don't have to correct every false statement. You can let it sit. You can change the subject. You can say, "Interesting, where did you hear that?" and turn the conversation around.

Or you can correct it, but strategically. Give them the information you're comfortable sharing, nothing more.

The moment you recognize elicitation happening, you take back control. You're no longer on autopilot. You're making a conscious choice about what to reveal.

Final Thought: Information Is Power

In professional settings, information is currency. Knowing when to share it, when to withhold it, and how to get it from others can be the difference between a good outcome and a great one.

Elicitation is one of the most powerful tools for gathering information because it doesn't feel like information gathering. It feels like casual conversation.

Feel free to use this technique for the greater good. An added bonus is that by being aware of this, you'll stop oversharing in ways that can cost you.

Because once you know how it works, you'll see it everywhere. And more importantly, you'll stop falling for it.