Is it possible to lead if you forget where you come from?

Madusha Ranaweera
Apr 8
4 min read

I've had two very different kinds of leadership moments in my career.

One was at a big corporate event with some of the most influential figures in banking and business in Sri Lanka. Polished. High-stakes. The kind of room where every conversation matters.

The other was a couple of days later, sitting in a thatched roof hut with a handful of women from one of our farms, talking about sexual harassment awareness.

Both mattered. Both were leadership.

But thinking about the contrast between these two experiences makes me think of someone I once worked with.

The Executive Who Climbed High

He climbed incredibly high in our company. He came from a background not unlike the women in that village hut. His family struggled, he worked odd jobs to pay for school, fought his way through university, and earned every step up the corporate ladder.

Very inspiring story.

At first, he was brilliant with executives. Charismatic with clients. A natural in boardrooms.

But the facade crumbled pretty quickly. He rarely went to the village meetings. And when he did interact with factory workers or farm laborers, something shifted. He wasn't warm. He wasn't present. He gave them less time, less attention, less of himself.

It was as if they should be grateful for whatever attention he chose to give them.

I never understood it.

Was he uncomfortable being reminded of where he came from? Did he think he'd outgrown that version of himself? I don't know.

But what I do know is this: if you can't connect with people at every level, you're not a well-rounded leader.

The Test of Real Leadership

I don't care how good you are in a boardroom. I don't care how many deals you close or how influential your network is.

If you've forgotten where you came from, or worse, if you're avoiding certain kinds of people because of status, background, or class, you're leading with one hand tied behind your back.

Real leadership isn't about performing for the people who can promote you.

It's about showing up with the same energy, empathy, and respect for everyone.

The factory worker. The CEO. The intern. The board member.

Because at the end of the day, we're all human. We all experience suffering and joy. And it's only circumstances, not worth, that create the differences between us.

What Forgetting Costs You

When you forget where you came from, you lose something essential.

You lose empathy. You stop seeing the people at the bottom of the org chart as fully human. They become abstractions. Numbers on a spreadsheet. Problems to manage rather than people to lead.

You lose credibility. The people you're avoiding? They notice. And they talk. Your team sees who you make time for and who you don't. They see who you treat with warmth and who gets the bare minimum.

You lose perspective. When you only surround yourself with people who look like success, you stop understanding the reality of the people your decisions actually affect. You make choices from an ivory tower that feel rational but are completely disconnected from the ground.

And ultimately, you lose respect. Not from the executives. They might not notice or care. But from the people who matter most, the ones actually doing the work, you become just another out-of-touch leader who doesn't really understand what it takes.

The Leaders I Respect Most

The leaders I respect most never forget that.

They're as comfortable in the village hut as they are in the boardroom. They give the same quality of attention to the intern as they do to the CEO. They don't perform empathy when it's convenient, they live it consistently.

And here's what's interesting: those leaders are often more effective in the boardroom too. Because they understand the full picture. They know how decisions at the top ripple through every level of the organization. They have credibility that can't be faked.

They haven't forgotten where they came from. Or if they didn't come from struggle themselves, they've made it their business to understand and respect those who did.

It's Only Circumstances, Not Worth

Because at the end of the day, we're all human.

The executive and the factory worker. The CEO and the cleaner. The board member and the farmer.

We all experience suffering and joy. We all have families we care about. We all want dignity, respect, and to feel like our work matters.

It's only circumstances, not worth, that create the differences between us.

And when you forget that? When you start believing that your success makes you fundamentally different or better? You stop being a leader and become just another person with authority who doesn't know how to use it.

Final Thought: Who Are You When No One Important Is Watching?

So ask yourself: do you show up the same way for everyone?

Are you as engaged in conversation with the person who cleans your office as you are with the person who can promote you?

Do you give the same respect to people regardless of their title, background, or how much they can do for your career?

Because real leadership isn't measured by how you perform in front of important people.

It's measured by how you treat people when there's nothing in it for you.

And if you've forgotten where you came from, or if you're avoiding connecting with people at certain levels, you're not leading. You're just performing.