The Perspective Shift That All Women Leaders (Unfortunately) Have to Make

Madusha Ranaweera
4 days ago
3 min read

"Please don't tell me you're also a feminist."

That's the comment I got from an old university professor (male) when I shared the interview that accompanied a magazine cover I was on a few years ago.

I won't lie. It felt a bit like a slap.

And he didn't even see the cover. I hadn't posted it.

For a moment, I thought: Why is a group of women in leadership positions talking about our experiences so threatening to some people? Why is "feminist" still used as an insult? Are women supporting women in public still that controversial?

But then I realized: this really wasn't about me.

It was about him. His upbringing. His insecurities. Whatever a woman in his life did to him that he never resolved.

And I wasn't going to let his comment take away from what that conversation actually was.

The Conversation That Mattered

Sitting with Ameena Ziauddin and Dr. Sarah Faszy for that interview was one of the most meaningful experiences I've had in leadership.

Ameena runs a global enterprise (among other things) and the mom-guilt she carries about not having a "perfectly balanced" life? We all felt it.

We talked about being mistaken for juniors in our business meetings at different companies when we walk in with a guy. About learning how to carry ourselves so we're taken seriously. About navigating rooms full of men who assume we don't belong there.

About the loneliness of leadership when you're one of the few women in the room.

It was a bonding experience because we shared things we don't often say out loud.

The Shift Every Woman Leader Makes

And here's the perspective shift that all women leaders (unfortunately) have to make:

You learn that some people's reactions to your success, your voice, your presence have nothing to do with you.

They're threatened by the space you take up. By the fact that you're not asking permission. By the simple reality that you exist in a role they didn't think you belonged in.

And you have to decide: are you going to let that stop you?

Are you going to shrink? Apologize? Make yourself smaller so they're more comfortable?

Or are you going to recognize that their discomfort is theirs to manage, not yours to fix?

That shift doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of comments like my professor's. Years of being interrupted in meetings. Years of having your ideas ignored until a man repeats them.

But once you make that shift, everything changes.

You stop internalizing their discomfort. You stop questioning whether you deserve to be there. You stop trying to make everyone comfortable with your success.

And you start focusing on what actually matters: the work, the impact, the other women coming up behind you.

The Truth About Women in Leadership

Here's the truth: women didn't get this far by letting words stop us.

Not from old professors. Not from colleagues. Not from strangers on the internet who feel threatened by our presence.

We got here by supporting each other. By having honest conversations about the struggles. By celebrating the wins. By reminding each other that we're not alone.

And the reason conversations like this matter is because the next generation of women leaders needs to know: it's not just you.

If you're the only woman in the room and you feel like you don't belong, that's not about your competence. That's about a system that wasn't built for you.

If someone calls you "too much" for simply existing in your power, that says everything about their limitations and nothing about yours.

And the shift you need to make is this: their reactions are not your responsibility.

Final Thought: Don't Let Them Take Your Win

When my professor made that comment, I had a choice.

I could let it diminish the experience. Or I could recognize it for what it was: his problem, not mine.

I chose to focus on what actually mattered, the meaningful conversation I'd had with two incredible women leaders about the reality of our experiences.

Because women didn't get this far by letting other people's discomfort dictate our actions.

And we're not starting now.